Islam encourages husband and wife to sleep together. But we know that some husbands and wives are not sleeping together for many reasons. As a result, some difficulties may arise in the family. So, it is necessary to know its cause and solution.
There can be many reasons why husband and wife do not sleep together. Anyway, in this post, Husband and wife not sleeping together in Islam, I am discussing that in detail.
Husband and wife are not sleeping together in Islam.
In Islam, it is okay for a husband and wife not to sleep together if it is based on their mutual consent. But it must be temporary. But if they sleep separately against someone else’s consent, it is not acceptable.
So if the question arises in the mind of the husband and wife if they are separated for a long time, will their marital relationship be okay or not? Many say their marriage will end in divorce. Is that right?
In answer to this, we say that if the husband and wife do not sleep together for a long time or do not see and talk, then there will be no divorce because the specific way of divorce is divorce by the husband himself.
Islam does not support the statement that ‘if a husband and wife do not sleep together for a certain period, divorce will automatically result. Divorce requires a husband’s talaq or a wife’s talaq.
There is no provision for automatic divorce in Islam, even if they do not sleep together for four months, four years or more.
We learned that divorce does not happen because the husband and wife sleep apart for a long time. So, the husband and wife do not sleep together for a long time. They can sleep together if they want to.
In this way, after a husband has been missing for a long time, if he returns to his wife, they will be able to start a family as before. They do not need to be formally reunited.
Shaykh bin Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
‘A woman will be considered divorced only if her husband voluntarily divorces her in good health and there is no reason for the divorce to be prohibited.
For example, at the time of divorce, the husband’s brain is fully active. Not to be mad or drunk, etc. To keep the wife pure from menstruation during a divorce. At that time, he did not have sexual intercourse with his wife.
Reasons why husband and wife should not sleep together in Islam
There is no strict prohibition of husband and wife sleeping together in Islam. In fact, Islam encourages intimacy between husband and wife. Here are some reasons why a husband and wife may not sleep together under certain circumstances:
- Menstruation and postpartum bleeding: During a woman’s menstrual cycle or postpartum bleeding, physical intimacy is discouraged. It is a temporary period of abstinence, and it is mentioned in the Quran.
- Illness or physical discomfort: If either spouse is sick or experiencing physical pain, sleep separately for rest.
- Spiritual Retreat: A period of spiritual retreat or devotional growth. Some people may sleep separately to concentrate on worship.
- Travel: During travel, especially for religious purposes such as pilgrimage, couples may sleep separately due to accommodation constraints or personal needs.
- Privacy and Personal Space: Islam recognizes the importance of privacy and personal space. If spouses feel the need for some personal space, they can opt for separate sleeping arrangements.
- Hygiene concerns: In some cases, if one spouse has specific hygiene concerns or habits that may affect the other’s sleep, they may decide to sleep separately.
- Snoring or sleep disorder: If one partner has a sleep disorder or snoring loudly, it can disturb the other’s sleep. In such cases, couples can sleep separately for a good night’s rest.
- They can’t sleep together due to the husband’s workplace being far away.
They cannot sleep together because one’s husband is abroad.
Also, someone’s husband may be missing for a long time. There is no news about him. So they can’t sleep together. - It may also happen that husband and wife are not sleeping together because of anger.
Six solutions for husband and wife not sleeping together in Islam
Here are some possible solutions to deal with situations where husband and wife do not sleep together:
- Communication and understanding: The key to solving any problem is open communication. Discuss the reasons behind the decision not to sleep together. Then, agree to the acceptable judgment of both husband and wife. It helps in fostering mutual understanding and support.
- Scheduled Intimacy: For situations like menstruation or postpartum bleeding, couples can prepare times for intimacy. It helps maintain a connection while respecting religious guidelines.
- Healthcare and treatment: If physical discomfort, illness or sleep disturbance is the reason for not sleeping together, consult a doctor. It may be resolved through treatment. Improved health can lead to more comfortable shared sleeping arrangements.
- Creating a Sacred Space: During a spiritual retreat or devotional, couples can create a sacred space within their home to worship together. Where one partner can engage in worship without disturbing the other’s sleep.
- Convenient Travel: While travelling, couples can plan to ensure comfortable sleeping arrangements. If a separate bed or room is required, then it can be accepted by mutual discussion.
- Respecting personal space: By recognizing the importance of privacy and personal freedom, couples can strike a balance which allows for individual needs without compromising the overall intimacy of the relationship. This may include separate sleeping areas but maintaining other aspects of shared living.
Summary
Islam encourages husband and wife to sleep together. So naturally, they will sleep together. But they can sleep separately if there is a valid reason. It suits them.
But if they are sleeping apart without any reason, then both husband and wife should focus on solving the problem. If they are separated like this, they will be sinners.
And if one comes forward to solve the problem but the other does not agree, then the one who does not conform will be a sinner. Therefore, for a happy family, the husband and wife should sleep together by removing the defilement.
FAQs
Is it permissible for husband and wife to sleep separately in Islam?
Yes, there are certain situations, such as menstruation, postpartum bleeding or health reasons, where husbands and wives may sleep separately. However, this is not a general rule, and Islam encourages intimacy between married couples.
What is the Islamic view on sleeping separately due to health problems or discomfort?
Islam allows flexibility in sleeping arrangements. Suppose one or both are experiencing health problems or physical discomfort. They may sleep separately for health concerns on medical advice.
Can husband and wife sleep separately for reasons of personal space or privacy?
While Islam emphasizes the importance of privacy and personal space, it also encourages maintaining a close and intimate relationship between husband and wife. Mutual understanding and communication should be communicated while sleeping separately for personal space.
How can couples balance spiritual practice and sleep arrangements?
Couples can create a balance by designating separate places for worship within the home. Clear communication and mutual respect in spiritual practice are key.
Is it permissible to sleep separately while travelling for religious or other reasons?
Yes, it is permissible to sleep separately during travel, especially if accommodation restrictions or personal needs arise. Planning and communicating sleep arrangements can help in such situations.
Does sleeping separately weaken the marriage bond in Islam?
Sleeping separately is permitted under certain circumstances. Couples need to maintain a strong emotional connection. Open communication, understanding and regular expressions of love contribute to a healthy marital relationship.
How can couples decide on sleeping arrangements according to Islamic teachings?
Couples should discuss their individual needs, preferences and any specific circumstances that may require different sleeping arrangements. Seeking guidance from religious leaders or counsellors can also help make informed decisions within the framework of Islamic education.